Relationship Class Explores Building and Bridging Relationships

February is often called the month of love. One of the first parts of developing self love and love for others is by building healthy and wholesome relationships. At Hand UP for Women participants embark on a six-week class called “Relationships” devoted to learning about themselves and working with others. While the class is not new, Tim and Jill Holder are in their first year of co-leading it. Teaching and preaching may not be how they first describe themselves, but the pair certainly know how to share the importance of all types of relationships using both of these skill sets.


Relationship Class Captivates Program Participants

The class focuses on exactly what it sounds like–teaching participants at Hand UP for Women how to build and maintain relationships with themselves, family, friends, coworkers and others. The Holders say, with both of them teaching, they offer participants an even-handed approach. They pull various topics from different sources to tailor the course to the needs of the participants and use personal life experiences as examples.

“The last time we taught together we delved deeper into how we are wired to be more extroverted or introverted,” Jill shared, “We’ll also talk about our fears and how that triggers us to be hurt.”

Jill explained how she teaches the ladies about a cyclical system of hurt; how when people are hurt they react to their fears and those feelings get dispersed to relationships. A goal of theirs is explaining how everyone is responsible for their actions and reactions when it comes to building and maintaining relationships.

“One of the things I love about working for Hand UP for Women is we can tailor our curriculum to the ladies in the program at the time,” Jill said. This is not a carbon copy class and they have the freedom to adapt the curriculum to the ladies sitting there in the classroom.

The Holders decided to not give homework to the women in the program. Instead each participant is required to ask a question or share an experience three times per week.

“A lot of fears come to us from what happened in childhood and some find their fears even further back,” Jill explained, “Kids who did not get a lot of attention as children may have a fear of abandonment as adults.” She said that as children people view things through the eyes of a child and now as an adult they can look at past situations and see a situation through a new lens.


Tim and Jill Share Their Why

“One of my goals for 2024 was for Jill and I to do more teaching together. Jill has done women’s ministry for years. And I do pulpit supply preaching. So I’m excited for us to be doing this together,” Tim shared.

“I’m really passionate about learning lessons and sharing them with other people. I don’t think the Lord brings us through difficult times to just keep them to ourselves,” Jill chimed in.

Tim was a history professor for, what he described as, many years and has done pulpit supply preaching for a long time as well. “I want to be salt of the Earth and light out in the world,” Tim said.

Jill is a professional actor and producer. Before that she had a fashion business and gave women fashion advice. What led her to Hand UP for Women was teaching a class to participants on how to put together an appropriate outfit for a job interview.

Jill introduced Tim to Hand UP for Women where he serves on the board now.

Before teaching this class on relationships, Jill taught a class on boundaries.


The Holders’ Hope for This Class

“At the end I want them to recognize the control they have over their feelings and how they respond to situations as well as creating and  reinforcing boundaries,” Tim explained. “Everything in life is relationships, the rest is just details.”

“My hope for them is that at the end of the whole class they will have formulated a good idea of what’s been driving difficult relationships and how they can change that completely to have healthy responses and relationships,” Jill said.

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